BORN THAT WAY AFTER ALL
True Love Waits Philippines is communicating with Johnny Nixon and Rozzie Hamm, authors of Born That Way After All, planning to bring them and their book to Manila. The topic of gender identity is in high demand. Many people will be quick to acknowledge that acting on same sex attraction is a spectacular sin. However, the sin of lust which is more common, doesn’t get the same fierce reaction from people who call themselves followers of Christ. True Love Waits Philippines exists to Connect Filipino Youth with God and His Plan for Absolute Purity. We all need to consider how ABSOLUTE our purity is in comparison to the people with sins different than ours.
To know more and get the book, you’ll have to wait until early next year 2019 before you’ll have the opportunity to meet the authors. The 193 pages and 23 chapters are great but I’m sure you don’t want to read a 193 page blog! So, we’ll hit the highlights. Chapters 1 and 2 tell the story of how the authors were given this ministry and the story of one man by the name of Sam whom God also used to illuminate His word from the book of Matthew 19. Chapter 2 ends with these words from Sam –
“Why didn’t someone show this to me when I was younger?
This could have saved me so much regret.”
Reading Sam’s words it sums up our mission statement of True Love Waits Philippines – we are using God’s word to Connect Filipino Youth to God and His Plan for Absolute Purity to bring glory to God but also to save people from guilt and shame. We know all make decisions that fall short of God’s glory and there is always hope and opportunity for God to make changes in anyone’s life.
To start, let’s look at the foundations of the word Vocation, which I always thought was rooted in the idea of work. It turns out that vocation is more closely defined as “Calling by God” rather than a work we chose. So, more God given than “My choice”
A vocation (from Latin voc?ti?, meaning “a call, summons”) is an occupation to which a person is specially drawn or for which she/he is suited, trained, or qualified. Though now often used in non-religious contexts, the meanings of the term originated in Christianity.
Examples can be engineer, doctor pastoring, marriage, child bearing or fatherhood and obviously not all are called to the same positions. Each one of us is uniquely designed by God to fill various roles to accomplish His special will for our individual lives.
To be married might be a special assignment by God from before birth. God in His sovereignty could in a way give a man the position like an officer guardian nurturer or care taker over a wife and children. God can also give a man an assignment from birth (a vocation) to be an officer over his kingdom people in a broader sense without the distractions of intimate exclusive relationships. This unique calling is a great blessing as much as being a father or husband might be.
Here is a quote from chapter 2 – Most of us always knew what we wanted and thus it was not too difficult for us to “fit in.” For people like Sam, it is not that simple. It is far too simplistic for us to cast ta stone at Sam and say, “come on man, be normal.” However, why should anyone pretend something that is not there? Sam was not committing any sins. The Bible did not say he had to like girls. He was not attracted to men. Sam was a good young man who simply had no answers to “who” or “what” he was.
Chapter two tells the journey that Sam struggled through as he made decisions that led him away from God including initially his exploring a relationship with a girl, a relationship with a man and ultimately to the authors of this book. Chapter two ends with Sam’s words –
“Mom, I am not gay”.
Some of the things that I will share in this blog are from the authors and weaved in with it are some of my personal thoughts. Chapter 3 is titled I am a Eunuch and begins with the authors speaking about self-diagnosis.
I am married and I love my wife, she means well and probably should have been a nurse. When she sees a spot on the kids arm or someone in our family feels a certain way, she goes to the internet or books that we have and looks for medical solutions to the various ailments that we have as a family of 7. She’s probably more right than not but as she is laying us on the examination table of the internet, I cautiously wonder if she is going to misdiagnose me or one of the kids. I am joking somewhat but that is the problem in our lives sometimes and was the case with Sam.
Without God’s wisdom and the wise counsel of the body of Christ, Sam was left to identify for himself who he was as a man. Then, when another man came along and gave him the prescription of join me in a sexual encounter, Sam found a cure for one part of the way he felt. No one had ever offered a remedy before.
His dilemma was whether to live as a “fake” and pretend he was attracted to females or to declare that he was a homosexual.
Sam’s deficiency was defining God’s view of Sam through the lens of limited definitions found in the present day world that we live in.
Sam was not attracted to men any more than he was to women. This appears to be prevalent among many who end up “coming out of the closet.” They feel the need to declare something, but what do they declare if there are only two options? This is where the dilemma gets tricky for people like Sam. They feel the need that the diagnosis is an “either/or” proposition. Their options being:
- Gay or Straight
- Homosexual or heterosexual
- Sex with men or sex with women
Often in True Love Waits or other purity campaigns, there is a sense that the teaching is focused on helping people connect with their True Love of the opposite sex.
We also have an abundance of marriage encounters or marriage enrichment seminars which are greatly needed. But can you imagine a mega church having a conference on being single for life? So, you show up in a 500 seat auditorium and there is only one other person there! Is it destiny or do you get up and run out of the place before the other single person does?
The authors ask the question, “When was the last time you heard a message on why it is better to remain unmarried?”
Jesus never went around asking “Do you have a boyfriend?” Finding a spouse was not the main topic for Him, so why is it for us?
We are assuming it’s the normal thing to do and there is a specific normal age or time in someone’s life to launch into that exclusive one on one relationship. Or that we practice in those relationships in preparation for the ultimate relationship of a spouse in marriage. Our friends say “How can you know what it’s like to be in THE RELATIONSHIP if you’ve never been in A RELATIONSHIP. But what do we call the BOND between a mother and son, daughter and her father, high school classmates, cousins and co-workers? Isn’t it true that those are relationships? The answer is – Yes. And Sam had lots of relationships in his church with kids, church mates and friends.
True Love Waits is defined as – me connecting with God and acknowledging his diagnosis of my disconnect from him based not on my actions but the decisions of Adam in the garden and my new life in light of who God is, what Jesus Christ has done for me, and who I am in Him. This is a much better option of True Love that is definitely worth waiting on every day.
Everyone sins and falls short of God’s holy standard because of Adam. Sam, like you and me made choices because of Adam’s choice.
Sam had already stepped over the line of chastity into immorality. Sam was not sold to perversion. Some people can become so drawn to the “pleasures of sin,” whether it is homosexuality or any other type of sexual addiction and/or practice, that they become addicted.
Yes, he had been involved in homosexual behavior, but it was not an overwhelming or uncontrollable desire. However, like any sin, once we have engaged in it, an appetite begins to develop for that sin.
It’s valuable to note here that we all sin this way. The Christian leader who desires to counsel a young person like Sam, has at some level an appetite for sin. We all need to flee immorality and pursue righteousness.
Sam was not attracted to his same sex but did fall into homosexuality but why? It’s because he was rejected by the people he encountered when he did not fit into the category of norms that people had identified. These norms are outside of what we can find in God’s word. Nowhere in the bible does it say that we must be attracted to the opposite sex and nowhere does it say that all will marry.
Sam was not only deceived by Satan but Sam was misdiagnosed by his church friends and possibly family simply because the lacked the knowledge that we are sharing with you today.
Satan wants to steal the chastity of a young person more than anything. He knows that once he can get a hold of us, he can use it against us for the rest of our lives.
Here is the truth: Sex outside of a biblical marriage is a baseless and empty passion. I did not say that it was not pleasurable. All sin has pleasure for a season, but sex has a short season. That is why sex creates addiction. We need to repeat the act to satisfy the lust for the pleasure. Within marriage, it is totally satisfying and fulfilling when it is part of a holy relationship. Marriage is what perfects sex. Sex does not perfect marriage, but marriage is the outlet for our sexual needs.
Sam, like many youth today was taught that sex was necessary or on simply the concept that everyone will be at some point in an exclusive one on one relationship with the opposite sex. Like what we have already shared, True Love Waits is not about helping everyone, find the right one. It’s seeking Love and finding Jesus.
Sam was not attracted to girls. He felt accepted by the men that bought into Satan’s lie that sex must be involved. They convinced Sam of that same lie.
Many men become involved in same sex activities even after they are older. They often “prefer” women, but pornography has created a strong desire in them that is not based on attraction, but perversion, even though they are naturally attracted to the opposite sex. The same is true of many women.
The cultural norms that were communicated to Sam were – you need to be in an exclusive relationship with a girl. Sam tried that in the beginning by kissing a girl, when no sparks came the opportunity to pursue a relationship with a man presented itself. Both of his pursuits were impure, one neither higher than the other but he should have been pursuing God. It was God’s plan to set apart Sam without a strong attraction to his opposite sex.
Sam encountered the authors of this book and discovered that he was not gay and with God’s wisdom, he was able to declare what he was – a eunuch.
At this point you most probably are thinking – Don’t you mean Unique? Well, almost.
God’s word says in Genesis 1 – In the image of God created He him; male and female created He them. Throughout God’s word we find no alternative to God’s original creation. We are not saying that there are three categories of people, male, female and eunuchs. No. It’s male and female only.
With some knowledge of the bible, you might guess that a eunuch is someone that has been castrated or to put it bluntly, a man who has no penis. However, that is not correct. A eunuch can be any one of three categories as follows –
Self-Made Eunuchs: Those who make themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake.
Man-made Eunuchs: Those who are made eunuchs of men. (Male organs literally cut away as a child)
God-Made Eunuchs: Those who are born that way “from their mother’s womb” (created by God with no sexual desire toward the opposite sex)
To begin, we should note that the person speaking is Jesus Christ. The first thing that Jesus says is a response to the Pharisees question is it legal for a man to divorce his wife. Jesus says “from the beginning it was not so. 9 And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”
10 The disciples said to him,
“If such is the case of a man with his wife,
it is better not to marry.”
They could have said “wow, in the beginning all was perfect and now it’s so difficult and complicated with the sin of adultery and we might end up with that kind of a woman and then ultimately have to divorce her. Maybe all of this is too much and why don’t we just stay single. Wouldn’t that be easier?
11 But he said to them, “Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given.
Jesus says “that’s right, both are challenges, some men may stay single and some men might marry because of the great need for sexual intimacy. So, make the choice that you are able to make.
12 For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth (God-Made), and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men (Man-Made), and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs (Self-Made) for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it.”
Reading the bible is one thing but studying the bible is what God wants for us all. And it is only when we study that we are able to hear and understand.
“Proverbs 2:1-6 says “My son, if you receive my words
and treasure up my commandments with you,
2 making your ear attentive to wisdom
and inclining your heart to understanding;
3 yes, if you call out for insight
and raise your voice for understanding,
4 if you seek it like silver
and search for it as for hidden treasures,
5 then you will understand the fear of the Lord
and find the knowledge of God.
6 For the Lord gives wisdom;
from his mouth come knowledge and understanding”
That verse is not in the book but it is in the bible and I just thought I would add that to the blog to let you know why we ought to be searching God’s word.
“only those to whom it is given”
Jesus said God is the one who appoints people to live in this kind of dedicated service.
This book is focused on a natural born eunuch. One that is born physiologically capable of performing sex acts, but without natural or unnatural sexual desires. That is not to say that unnatural desires cannot be developed. They absolutely can. For example, we were not born with a desire to drink fermented drinks or to inhale tobacco, but there are many who have developed unnatural desires for these things, and the result is detrimental.
Addictions are usually the perversion of appetite or the development of an unnatural appetite. Many in the “gay” lifestyle are addicted to that which is not natural, and I believe that many of them have this addiction because they were deceived by Satan as to how they were created by God.
I think from this forever blog, you’ve got enough information to get you excited about reading the book that is coming but I will leave you with this one thing to keep you in suspense and wanting more.
Isaiah 56:3-5 ends with the thought that God’s appointment of the position of eunuch is better than being named a son or daughter. Wow! How can you get better than that?
The following is a list of men and women who would be considered biblical eunuchs.
In the vast majority of cases, they were all faithfully unmarried individuals dedicated to a cause, person or purpose. Male eunuchs were trusted around married women. They were never a threat to holy matrimony. They were loyal, royal guardians and household nurturers. They were dedicated servants – often lifelong servants – to a cause or to a person. They were eunuchs.
Here are 15 great examples–
Miriam, Elijah, Elisha, Jeremiah, Daniel, Shadrach, Meshack, Abednego, John the Baptist, The Apostle John, The Apostle Paul, Barnabas, Timothy, Lydia and JESUS CHRIST, the most famous faithfully unmarried person ever. He should be the number one role model of what it means to live the unmarried life. As we follow Christ, let’s remember that our Lord was physically unmarried. This historical fact should motivate every church to find ways to make “singles” – honorable, wholly dedicated, life-long unmarried individuals – an important part of their ministry, rather than unintentionally sidelining them in good efforts to promote marriage.
All of us, eventually, will in a way become eunuchs when we get to heaven. No one will be physically married, and everyone will be wholly dedicated to God for eternity:
Luke 20:34-35 – 34 And Jesus said to them, “The sons of this age marry and are given in marriage, 35 but those who are considered worthy to attain to that age and to the resurrection from the dead neither marry nor are given in marriage.
This is an amazing truth paraphrased from Proverbs 2 “If you receive my words then you will understand”
Let’s remember that friendship is the only relationship that carries over from this life into eternity.
God is not interested in rescuing anyone from their true sexual identity. On the contrary, God desires to rescue people from rooting their true identity in sexuality.
At True Love Waits we encourage you and the whole body of Christ to study the word of God. It may be that the greatest challenges in our world is not the world itself but the growth of the body of Christ. In the end, it’s God’s assignment that he chose us before the foundation of the world and our assignment it to teach others to obey all of His commands, to nurture, oversee, care for, guard and guide God’s people – A high level servant of the kingdom.
In the book of John, Chapter 17 Jesus says this:
6 “I have manifested your name to the people whom you gave me out of the world. Yours they were, and you gave them to me, and they have kept your word. 7 Now they know that everything that you have given me is from you. 8 For I have given them the words that you gave me, and they have received them and have come to know in truth that I came from you; and they have believed that you sent me. 9 I am praying for them. I am not praying for the world but for those whom you have given me, for they are yours.
Pray for Pastors Nixon and Hamm and the body of Christ.
Derek Ross, National Director True Love Waits Philippines