Let me guess. If you encountered this question in a restaurant, you’d probably choose chicken. If someone asks you which came first, well, that’s a different story. Believe it or not, it has been a continuous debate for a long time. For now though, let us leave this famous duo on the side and take on a more interesting pair: Marriage or Sex?
So which one comes first? If you happen to be online and visited MSN.com last July, this news headline would have given you a hint:
“Getting naked can lead to the real thing…”**
Oops, a wrong hint.
Yes, a study about love and libidos was conducted by a group of foreign researchers at Concordia University and their findings caught the attention of many readers in the internet. Some raised an eyebrow; others agreed with the results, while we at TLW saw the need to write this blog. Are you ready to hear their findings? Their study says “that the same regions of the brain that control love also control sex — indicating that sexual desire can actually morph into love.” In other words, “Love can grow from lust.” Science found an answer, but it is sending us a wrong message as well.
Love, more than a product of something, is the reason why everything else exists. Before we even knew of hatred, jealousy, and even lust, there was love. We were created out of love, we were born in the image and likeness of love, and we live for love. God is love; He is the beginning and the End. Love, therefore is found in the same place: before everything else and when nothing else is left. So how do we apply this truth in a relationship?
By waiting for marriage before engaging into sex. Sadly, people are being led to believe that sex can be the start of a beautiful relationship. But what if it didn’t? Will you “do it” again with another person until you find the right one who will love you because his or her lustful desires were satisfied? And even if making love for the purpose of finding love did work the first time, do you think sex can provide a strong foundation for a relationship?
Making love is not the seed that grows love; rather, it is the fruit of love. In Genesis, it is written that a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and they will become one flesh. The man and his wife were both naked and they felt no shame. (ch.2 v.24-25) Wow! That is one magical feeling you wouldn’t want to miss — to make love with the person God made for you – your husband or your wife – and do it with no shame. For the wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. (1 Corinthians 7:3-4).
When done outside marriage, sex is nothing more than just an attempt to satisfy our human desires. And 101% of the time, when we give in to the desires of our flesh, we face major consequences.
If we don’t regard sex as something “exclusive” for marriage, chances are we hurt ourselves emotionally, physically, and even psychologically. By having the wrong conception that physical contact can morph into love or that it is something that just happens (or we make happen) ‘out of fun,’ ‘curiosity,’even out of ‘nothing,’ we put our very own life at risk. Having multiple sexual partners can lead to HIV and AIDS, a deadly disease that God never intended for us. And I’m sure you, too, would never want such risk in your life.
We are too precious in our Creator’s eyes and He wants us to look at ourselves the same way. Each of us is a gem. Our body is His temple. Let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God. (2 Corinthians 7:1) He did not give us rules just to steal all of our fun; He’s called us to holiness, and the rules are for our joy and protection.***
So which one first? Marriage or Sex? The answer now should come easy. In other words, “Chicken!”
Guest Post by Carmela Ann Santos, TLW Volunteer