It was 2013 when I first heard about Jonathan. Alfred, who was my churchmate and Jonathan’s bestfriend, told me that Jonathan was asking for my name after seeing my picture on his phone. I just graduated from college and was starting out on my first job and I somehow didn’t like the idea of pairing with someone because I don’t want to look like I’m desperate of having a boyfriend.
I was on the peak of my career and I was really focused on my job and ministry. I never had a boyfriend because I was hopeful that the guy I fell in love with when I was in college will grant his promise that in the future he will come to the Philippines and pursue me. It was my decision that I will never engage in a romantic relationship until my parents approved of it and finished my studies.
Unfortunately, early in 2016, the guy I was praying for broke all my hopes. He told me to stop waiting for him, and I knew what that meant. I stopped hoping that he will fulfill his promise right then and there and asked God for forgiveness because I’ve been so focused on waiting for someone that I forgot to trust His perfect plan for me. I asked the Lord to redirect my life to His will, and vowed that I will be spending my life serving Him than trying to find the guy for me.
Come New Year of 2017, that was the time Jonathan started texting me and asked personal questions. I had reservations because first of all, I’m not used to talking about my personal life with a guy because if I do, I might be emotionally attached to that person and lead me to making wrong decisions. I’m also scared that I might be distracted from my priorities.
Jonathan and I got to know each other and we started to see each other more often. There was this one time that we spent almost 6 hours in the coffee shop just from talking about Jonathan’s life testimony: about his family, ministry, and his past relationships. The guy I used to hate morphed into a guy that I suddenly had an interest in. We started to go on jogs and started to call and exchange texts almost everyday. We talked about Reformed theology, our interest towards each other grew and grew.
People surrounding me started to get concerned with the growing closeness with Jonathan. They knew that something was going on because they have never seen me going out with a guy. They got worried that I might just be confused with my feelings, and they were slightly doubting if Jonathan was serious about me. Jonathan, upon learning about this, asked to cut our communication because he felt bad that the people who were looking out for me thinks that he has a bad intention.
I cried my heart out to God and asked for forgiveness because I was caught off-guard when Jonathan came. Even though I’m on a right age to enter a relationship, I didn’t want to waste my time with someone who won’t pursue me. I felt like I disobeyed God and didn’t trust Him for the second time. I resolved not to talk to Jonathan after that incident. I uttered a prayer saying,
“Lord, if you will not give me a man whom I will spend my life with, it’s fine because I already found my joy in You. But if you will it, please let that man pursue my parents and pray for Your will. So that You may be glorified in all these.”
Fast-forward to one month, Jonathan told me that he was seriously praying for me and that he wants to pursue me again. I honestly got scared because things were getting serious. I asked my parents questions every now and then about Jonathan, and they advised me to pray for it first. I prayed a sincere prayer, and knew that if Jonathan is the man prepared for me, then the Lord will perfectly orchestrate things for us. I know that God saw how much I admired Jonathan for being so humble and devoted to the Lord. I’ve seen him devote his time for God’s ministry.
God used Jonathan for me to understand what grace means, especially after he told me about his past. I was not disgusted; I was rather amazed of how the Lord was so gracious in his life. By knowing Jonathan, I got more inclined to reading the Word. I knew that I was falling in love with Jonathan. I loved him because I saw that he will help me spiritually, and that he will not just draw me closer to his heart, but to God’s. I then asked my parents if it’s the right time to have a boyfriend and if they approve of Jonathan, my papa told me that I’m of age and the only one who can say if Jonathan is fitting. They told me that if Jonathan draws me closer to the Lord, it would be totally fine with them.
We officially became a couple on January 1, 2018 as my dad entrusted me to Jonathan, telling him that he trusts him that he will take care of me and that he loves me. I know that the Lord is pleased as we honored my parents through our decision. I couldn’t be more thankful to the Lord that He preserved me for Jonathan, I know my sexual purity is not for Jonathan but for His glory.
By God’s grace and favor, Jonathan and I are getting married on October 11th this year. It is truly amazing to witness how the Lord perfectly planned everything. Our love story happened naturally because of His divine intervention through His sovereign will. God didn’t allow us to meet in 2013 because He had a plan, a wonderful plan that would bring glory to His name. I wouldn’t trade this moment for anything, knowing that our union will for His glory. I picture Jonathan and I serving the Lord together with our future kids.
As Paul stated in Romans 11:36, “For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever…”, that is the ultimate goal: for God to be glorified. To Him be the glory forever. Amen!
Re-written from original script of Sheila Mae Gerao Gosim by:
Rizia B. Paragas, TLW volunteer
Rizia, or most commonly known as “Delight”, is a 22-year-old BS Business Economics graduate who is passionate in serving God through sharing the Gospel and making Christ known to young men and women. She enjoys singing, writing articles and reading countless of books that are mostly regarding about theology and plants. She runs her plant business, Plant Delight, and is a big fan of long mountain hikes and swimming in deep oceans. You can check out her blog on https://chipsdelight22.wordpress.com/.