I hate men! And I have every reason to hate them. Okay, before you judge me, hear my piece first.
First off, my father abandoned us (my Mom, I and my younger brother) when I was but a year and few months old.
Second, there never was an ideal older male-figure in the family. My grandfathers and uncles were workaholic, alcoholic or gamblers.
Third, while I was growing up my playmates and classmates would torment me with jokes and remarks about my skin tone (I have a dark complexion) and my “not-so-perfect” nose.
From grade school to high school I rarely associate with, much more befriend boys. They have caused far too much pain and humiliation. I do not even remember having a close “guy” friend, except for my “gay” friends (if they even count) when I was young. I did not go out with anyone and as expected I did not have any boyfriends. I thought, boy, are there still any good guys around?
When I came to know the Lord, He reminded me why He gave Adam an Eve. And it was to help him take care of His creation – to be his companion, his partner. But everything changed when sin entered the picture. The bone of our bone, the flesh of our flesh became our worst enemy. A son against his father, a daughter versus her mother, a friend betraying a friend. Even the closest, most important person in our life can inflict the deepest pain and vice-versa.
Avoiding and hating men did not help me deal with and resolve my issues. They just made matters worse. It turned me into a professional man-hater. Anger consumed half of my life. It almost ruined me. It is one of the most draining, lonely and grueling experiences to go through.
I realize men could still hurt me (and it is no excuse for them to intentionally do so;) they could still be a dork; and they could still bring out the worst in me. However, the Lord could also use men to mold me into the person I have to be. They could also be great allies and friends and they could bring out the best in me!
Once in awhile I still encounter the “bad” tomatoes in the bunch. I still struggle with the “men are all the same,” “I could never trust men,” and “they are a pain in the neck” modes. Men will be men. Who says women are perfect anyway?
God’s words through Paul reminded me how to look at and treat the opposite sex in spite of our humanity or inhumanity, “Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice! Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you.”
Inspirations Unlimited, DZAS