How do I know if I am really in love or infatuated?
There is an emotion that can feel as strong as love (because it involves your hormones!), but it isn’t love — it’s infatuation. What is infatuation anyway? What’s the difference between infatuation and real love?
-is an emotion. Real love is deeper than just emotion. Emotions can’t always be trusted. They will change as circumstances around you change. (For example, when your sick, tired, stressed, fearful, etc.) You are so obsessed with someoone you fail to see any faults.
-is love at first sight–fireworks!–bells! You can be infatuated with someone you have never met, like a moviestar, or someone you notice at school. Real love takes time. It’s a growing experience based on shared interest, beliefs, and attitudes. A fantasy that is created in one’s mind based on emotion of how things would be if they were paired with another (often specific) person.
-may lead to love over time, but it is not love. Infatuation only takes. Love gives. Infatuation wants to know “What in this for me?” Love says, “What can I do for you? How can I make you a success? How can I meet your needs?”.
-is insecure. Infatuation gets jealous and unreasonable. Love doesn’t. Infatuation fades with time, separation, or change. Love won’t. You’ve heard it said that absence makes the heart grow fonder. Well, that is only true with real love. Being apart will kill infatuation over time, because it must take to survive. When someone else comes along who has more to give, infatuation will switch its attention from an old flame to a new one.
-is fueled by passion and lust. Love runs on respect. Example David said he loved Kay and wanted to marry her when they graduated from college. Just before their senior year, Kay’s face was scarred in an automibile accident. By Christmas, David broke off the engagement because he said he no longer loved Kay. What David felt wasn’t real love that says, I love you unconditionally, no matter what. It was infatuation that said, I cared because you were…pretty (or sexy, rich, popular, etc.)
Now that we defined what infatuation is, it’s time for you to analyze your relationship with the person you’re with now.
Next blog we will talk about what is TRUE LOVE.
Know if you are IN LOVE or IN LUST…before it’s too late!