Locked down at home became the new normal at the start of March. It was a shock for some, a different world for many, while others find it to be a restful experience. What is your quarantine story? We all have one to share.
The highlight of my quarantine journey started inside the emergency room of a hospital.
It was a black Saturday. I was lying down with my legs are curled up to my chest to ease the pain on my right lower abdomen. The doctors needed my laboratory test results to know if I am suffering from appendicitis. It was so painful I couldn’t say a full-length prayer. But God gave me the strength to utter the words, “In Jesus’ Name” while touching my right abdomen. All of this while the doctors were in full gear (PPE), assisting patients that might be suffering from COVID-19, and even saving the life of one man who later died inside the room that I was in.
After 5 hours, the pain left me and the doctors said it wasn’t appendicitis.
That same day, I went to see an OB-Gyne who gave me pain relievers. She said I can have an ultrasound check after the quarantine.
Days later, I noticed that I was starting to take deep breaths and I was starting to cough out phlegm. Again, I went to the hospital and they asked me to take two tests: X-ray and Swab. They wanted to make sure I didn’t have COVID-19. My lungs were clear but they advised me to go on self-isolation in our house. I followed the advice and for more than a week, I was confined inside a small room.
The struggle was real. I was fighting many battles – physically, mentally, emotionally. “What if I have the virus?” In the first few days, I still found it difficult to breathe but I would force myself to get up from bed and sing hymns in the morning. Again, God gave me the strength to praise Him despite my weaknesses. There were times I cried, times I would pray out loud then sleepless nights, and mornings where I just stayed in bed.
I received a call from the hospital and they said I was negative for COVID-19. Finally, it’s over. But wait.. there’s one more. In my third visit to the hospital, the doctor advised me to have an ECG and a 2D Echo because I was experiencing palpitation and irregular heartbeat. Feeling your heart beat so fast and so “intense” is frightening indeed.
Like, I didn’t know if my heart would still continue beating. Everyday, I just want to wake up alive… that’s all.
People around me thought that what I went through was “all in my mind.” But no, it was a struggle of the flesh. When our bodies get weak, that’s when we feel most vulnerable. We easily resort to panic. We tend to overlook God’s everyday miracles because we are suffering. Our pain and discomfort blind us from God’s grace. But the Lord is clear in His command to us:
“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.” Mark 12:30
This trial that I endure was indeed a test of my faith. Literally, I was out of breath and in my most vulnerable state when God’s Word gave me strength. Battling fears and evil thoughts in my mind is the moment I prayed with the strength that God gives me, thoughts of Him lifted up my tired body.. and soul. When I thought my heart was abnormally functioning, God never allowed me to forsake my love for Him.
“Whom have I in heaven but you and there is nothing on earth that I desire besides You. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Psalm 73:25-26
When God gave us the commandment to love him with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength, He gave us a promise: “You can do these things through the strength I will give you.” Philippians 4:16
In Matthew 8, Jesus heals many sick people so that one promise and prophecy might be fulfilled: “He himself took our infirmities and bore our sicknesses.” v.17
This promise gave me new hope. And the day God revealed this Word to me, I claimed healing in Jesus’ Name. My physical body isn’t just healed, but my soul is well in Him.
In this time of pandemic, some of us are inside our homes. Many are in the hospital. Fighting COVID-19, cancer, kidney failure, heart problems, and other physical and even mental illnesses. Some of us are safe and healthy. Some are bored. But in one-way or another, we are trying to survive. Whether we have food on the table, we have air conditioners in our room, we have TikTok and entertaining tools around, or whether we have none. All of us are fighting a battle – physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually.
It’s not only women who feel this way but it’s also MEN. And that’s okay…
I pray that whatever it is you are facing right now, you will find the strength that God provides. I pray that you live every day loving Him with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. We do not see the virus, they always say. But God’s promises? They are tangible when we seek God with all of our hearts.
It is okay to cry? It is okay to feel weak? It is ok to feel vulnerable? Even JESUS wept. God knows what we are going through. Because… He is with us. Emmanuel.
Knowing that God is with us through the Holy Spirit is the truth to set us free.
May this quarantine season bring forth a revival. My encounter with God, my friend and my healer, has never been as intimate and real and exceedingly empowering as this quarantine season.
He is revealing Himself to me and to you in many ways, more now than ever.
Today, we praise Him. When all this is over, we praise Him. For those who love God, He works all things for the good and the glory of His name. God is faithful to fulfill His Promises.
Please share your story with our staff at barkadahan@wagmuna.com or text 09178627335 us if you want us to pray!
Carmela Ann Santos, TLW volunteer
Mel is a lover of written words, kids, and education. She values her faith, family, and her personal time. She dreams of writing a book, doing an interview with Mike Shinoda, and building her bookstore someday. Her favorite topics are faith, love, and others. She finds happiness seeing her loved ones happy. She wants to retire as a mobile teacher and spend the remaining days of her life in Batanes. Read more about her Writing Life at http://carmelameyla.wordpress.com
