The Friendzone and the Glory of God

The Friendzone and the Glory of God

“Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also more hard to bear. The frequent attempt to conceal mental pain increases the burden: it is easier to say ‘My tooth is aching’ than to say ‘My heart is broken.’”

-C.S Lewis

The generation of young people today is so preoccupied with thoughts of searching and finding that one person who can make them happy or they think can make their life more meaningful. It’s a human thing to do, perhaps. We are created to be vulnerable and we seem to have this massive void in our hearts that we want to get filled. Maybe this is the reason why many people experience emotional or mental pain: they have looked for love at the wrong places. But what if you weren’t really looking for it? What if, even without expecting it, you loved and got your heart broken?

Maraming unexpected na bagay ang nangyayari sa mundo. Hindi natin hawak ang ating hinaharap. Mayroong dalawang klase ng unexpected na bagay – yung unexpected na gusto natin at yung unexpected na hindi natin gusto. Paano nga ba tayo magre-respond sa sitwasyon kung saan nangyayari ang mga bagay na hindi natin kagustuhan?

Friendzone—isa sa trending word sa Internet at sa mga kabataan ngayon. Sabi sa Urban Dictionary, Friend Zone is “the worst position someone can be in if they have feelings for someone. When the person develops romantic feelings for someone, but the other person only sees the relationship as just being friends. Because the two are around each other a lot, the one in love will harbor his/her feelings for the other.”

The definition pretty much sums up how I feel. However, it was something I wasn’t really expecting. When I joined True Love Waits Philippines, marami akong natutunan about waiting and saving yourself for your future husband. And I thought I’m going to be invincible kasi I already know all these. But then again, the human heart is a cheater. I have a guy friend na hindi ko naman talaga ka-close noon. But one day we both discovered na we live in the same area and we have the same route papuntang eskwelahan. So the next scenario is predictable. Sabay kaming pumapasok sa school at sabay din kaming umuuwi. To cut the long story short, I have developed feelings for that guy and the sad part is na-realize ko lang na there is actually something going on inside me noong naramdaman ko na nasasaktan na pala ako kapag nagkekwento siya about sa babaeng gusto niya. Most of the time, she was all he ever talked about and it made me extremely sad and has put me into a deep emotional pain. And I don’t have any choice but to conceal it because that’s just the way it should be. That’s what made it harder for me, I had to conceal it. So there were many times when I ride the bus home, alone, looking out the window, and wondering why I had to meet that guy and get my heartbroken.

I realized that all this time, it’s always all about the will and the glory of God. We can definitely trust God even in this area of our life kahit na feeling natin hindi mawawala yung pain. God cares about us; He cares about our pain, disappointments, hurts, and discouragement. I have discovered and I have found hope and comfort in the truth that God cares more about His own glory. The night before Jesus was crucified He prayed “Now My soul is troubled, and what shall I say? ‘Father, save Me from this hour?’ But for this purpose I came to this hour ‘Father, glorify Your name.’”(John 12:27-28)

It is amazing that God gives us comfort when we think about His glory. And the sovereign God who created everything has already planned even before I was born that there will be a day when someone will put me in the Friend Zone and will cause extreme sadness and pain and yet will use that seemingly insignificant circumstance for His glory.

It has helped me pull myself together thinking that life is not always about our happiness. Many times it had made me feel insecure dahil one-sided ang feelings ko. But then God always has the best plan na maaaring hindi natin maiintindihan sa umpisa. At ang buhay ay hindi lang about finding the right person, it’s about glorifying God with everything we have. It’s easier said than done, pero hindi tayo makaka-move on from any emotional pain if we don’t resolve to move forward and find meaning in what we’re going through.

Para sa mga katulad ko na nasa Friend Zone din, you will feel better soon and everything will make sense in the end. God cares. God listens to your cries.

“And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God.”
Romans 8:28

  • – Anonymous