The Journey of Singlehood

This is one of my hated season. One of my best friends is married for six years now and my other best friend who’s been single for the 28 years already has a boyfriend while me, who used to jump from one relationship to another is single for almost three years. I know for some three years is JUST three years, but, you have to understand that coming from a lady who’s not used to being single, it is way too long. But then, as Ecclesiastes 3 says, “He makes all things beautiful in His time” and that gave me the peace that I needed.

As time goes by, from the time I’ve been single up to now, God has been faithful and patient on me in continuously moving and teaching me lessons I never knew when I was still on the phase of having one boyfriend after another. That there is more to life than being in a relationship and that singleness is really not a season that needs to be avoided or neglected. Singleness is good, a gift and a season that needs to be treasured.

Singleness is a season to grow, to nurture and to be the person that God wants us to be. It is a journey that each of us needs to take. As I always believe in, no one can be complete in the arms of someone else when he himself isn’t complete and happy as an individual. We cannot find satisfaction in a relationship if we base our identity as a person on it. A relationship isn’t something that can make us whole as a woman, it is not something that we should dwell in with our being and it is not something to fill the hole of loneliness or an escape goat. Rather, a relationship is a gift from above that needs to be unwrapped piece by piece, it is the preparation for one of God’s greatest gift in human kind and that is marriage. These things, I didn’t learn in an easy way, and it didn’t happen in one snap. As a matter of fact I am still learning and still taking one step at a time and still on that journey.

As I study the Bible, Paul gave much light in singleness as he was himself single much of his life and he spoke in a very radiant manner how Singleness is good, and is a gift from God (1 Corinthians 7:7–8). Paul dedicated his life in serving God and His people, he didn’t waste his time whining on being single but rather he made the most out of his time. As it is written in Matthew 6:33, “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well”, let’s continue seeking God – His will and righteousness, let’s continue focusing on Jesus for He is the ultimate lover of all. Let’s continue loving and seizing the season and phase that we are in, for when the right time comes, if it is His will, the things that we desire will be given to us.

Remember, single or married, our ultimate goal is to always seek and have a wholehearted devotion to Christ and His gospel, and that our marital status can and will never define us because our real identity is in Christ. He has already bought us with a price and we are no longer our own (1 Corinthians 6:19–20). Marriage and Singleness are two different gifts, gifts that is given to us by God who would never give us something less than what we deserve. Married or not, know that we are not on our own and alone. Look around you, look up! Love is everywhere.


Patricia Aidyl A. Santiago, TLW Volunteer

Trish is an AB Comm graduate who’s passionate in reaching out kids and youth to find true love in Christ. She usually detached herself from the world with her books, pen and paper where she write the words that she can’t utter. You can check out her thoughts in